Amygdala (Risk-taking, Fear)

Amygdala: helps detect threats and triggers fear and stress responses. It’s not always about danger, though, because it also activates when something is important to us and we are about to take a risk :) 

Fear is not always indicative of warning, and it’s not always indicative of danger. Sometimes fear can be a doorway, to do good. In my life, to be honest, there’s been a lot of fear. There’s been fear in speaking because of the way my stutter might betray me, or walking into spaces because of the way I might not sound like I belong, or that I might not succeed at something I wanted most. 

Looking back, I saw that the more I played it safe, the more I remained stuck. Stagnant. The defining moments for me were the times I actively and voluntarily chose the more difficult option and fully committed to it. This was the time I took on more cases even when I already felt stretched. I agreed to work with a client I didn't fully understand, then had to prove my decision to do so by doing my homework and showing up ready to go. It’s easy to say that I wanted to help. It’s hard to do it by researching, calling, verifying facts, and ensuring that I treat every client I have with the same effort.

It wasn’t heroic to take on another case. It was honestly quite inconvenient and stressful and messy. That night, I sat at my desk with my laptop open and my file beside me. I realized how easy it was to claim to care. I highlighted my pages until the words ran together. I wrote down things I didn’t understand. I looked up words that I was embarrassed to not know. I made phone calls and sent voicemails and checked my email too many times. I worried what if I don’t see something important? What if I don’t see the detail that makes everything change? The fear was still there. But I knew how to use it. I knew how to use it to be diligent instead of to be afraid.

Then, there was of course, the commute to New York City for my internship. Two hours each way, early mornings and late returns, through the beloved Lincoln Tunnel. On the train, I would wedge myself into a window seat, pull out my laptop, connect to my phone hotspot, and try to make the ride useful. A man across from me watched me open my screen and spread papers on my lap. 

“Work trip?” he asked. 

“Internship,” 

He raised his eyebrows. “In the city?” 

“Yeah,”  

“From here?” 

“Two hours,” 

“That is a lot,” 

I almost laughed because I agreed with him. “I know,” 

“So why do it?” 

The bus rocked and the lights slightly flickered. My eyes stung from lack of sleep. I thought about how easy it would be to choose comfort. Maybe to wake up later, spend life savings to live in New York city perhaps, so I didn’t have to take the bus. I thought about how many times I had already chosen comfort and called it realistic. I looked back at him. 

“Because I want it, and I am not waiting until it feels easy.” 

He nodded once, like he understood more than he expected to.

When we experience fear, it is experienced physically. The amygdala reacts rapidly and without deliberation. Its job is to scan for any threats, and it may cause reactions to the stress response long before the logical areas of the brain have time to say anything. It can make your heart race, your stomach knot, and your muscles tighten. This process is not limited to physical dangers; it is also triggered when there is an anticipation of judgment, exclusion, and failure. Anxiety studies have consistently reported elevated activity in threat-related brain regions, such as the amygdala, which goes some way to explaining why one might feel their body reacting as though something bad was about to happen even before an event takes place (Etkin & Wager, 2007).

When identity is on the line, the brain treats the moment just as serious as a physical threat. The more you care, the more the body prepares. Research on adolescent social evaluation and threat responses supports the idea that social evaluation can amplify emotional brain responses, especially when peers or authority figures are involved (Guyer et al., 2008). This is why stuttering can feel worse under pressure. It is why internships and responsibility can feel like walking into a spotlight.

And this is when learning and habituation come in. Every time you face challenges and survive them, your body will be able to recognize that pain does not equal harm. The more this happens, the greater the efficiency of internal regulation, as the other parts of your brain will be able to inhibit the threat system better. You can still feel scared, but now you will not be controlled by it. Ever felt that way when you look back and see how much easier something has become than what once used to frighten you? It’s  not only about feeling confident, but rather about making new predictions. Your amygdala part will know about it, yet without idealizing it.

References

Etkin, A., & Wager, T. D. (2007). Functional neuroimaging of anxiety: A meta-analysis of emotional processing in PTSD, social anxiety disorder, and specific phobia. American Journal of Psychiatry, 164(10), 1476–1488. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.2007.07030504 

Guyer, A. E., Lau, J. Y., McClure-Tone, E. B., Parrish, J., Shiffrin, N. D., Reynolds, R. C., Chen, G., Blair, R. J., Leibenluft, E., Fox, N. A., Ernst, M., Pine, D. S., & Nelson, E. E. (2008). Amygdala and ventrolateral prefrontal cortex function during anticipated peer evaluation in pediatric social anxiety. Archives of General Psychiatry, 65(11), 1303–1312. https://doi.org/10.1001/archpsyc.65.11.1303